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THE WHIP! / My man's kids are disrespecting me - What should I do?
 Posted
3/29/2009 6:14:00 PM
Dear Alex J,
I'm in a relationship with a man who has 3 kids. When it's just him and I, things are fine, but when his "rug-rats" come to visit, then tensions quickly rises between us, because he acts like he's afraid to step in and discipline them when they argue, misbehave, or totally disrespect me!
He always downplays my concern by telling me that I need to have more patience, because he doesn't want the kids to run and tell their mother "OUR BUSINESS" and he's trying to keep the peace with the kid's mother.
I admire my man for wanting to stay and be a part of his kid's lives but am I wrong for not caring about what their momma thinks?
Sincerely,
If girlfriend's not happy - then NObody's happy
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Lady T
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Well,I've come to realize that when you are dating someone and he/she have kids it's not really a good idea to be too familiar with the children until there is a true commitment between parties,meaning an engagement.At that time it would behoove the parent and the soon-to-be step-parent to sit down and discuss expectations/rules.The biological parent should be the main disciplinarian because the children are not the responsibility of the step-parent.Also,bio parents should not get upset at the new spouse when they step in and discipline the kids.Step-parents should never lay hands on the step kids either because that causes serios problems in the relationship,especially when the other bio parent finds out.And bio parents should never allow their children to call the step mom/dad unless the other parent is totally out of the picture.It's very disrespectful.
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Posted By
Jaimi
On
4/30/2009 9:09:16 PM
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He needs to realize that the only obligation he has to the baby mama is whats best for the kids. That's IT !!! Be a man Be a father stand up and make his present girl happy.
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Posted By
TB1218
On
4/6/2009 12:36:00 PM
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I am about to marry a man that has 3 previous children and I have 1 previously and we now have 1 together. He and I are both up front when it comes to the discipline of our children.
As far as your situation if he doesnt care or have feelings for his ex then he should not mind you saying anything to the children, however its just the way you say it that can make a difference.
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Posted By
TH
On
4/6/2009 12:12:15 PM
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Lady T, I had the same issues with my lady at home. Her kids were bad as hell and when I tried to discipline them they went and told their father and he confronted me. I really didn't think it was his place to come to my front porch and to try to chastise me for what goes on in my home. My personal opinion is a man's home is his castle.......If the father wants this headache he should be a real man and take over custody to raise his children. As long as his kids live with me they will have to abide by my rules. To make a long story short the relationship got messy and we ended up separating.....I now make it a hbit to not date women with kids. It is not worth the hassle.......
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Posted By
Ken
On
4/5/2009 10:51:30 AM
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Most of the time it's simply a jealousy thing between the new chick and the baby's mama. Maybe the girlfriend is making it up so that the kids parents don't get along.
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Posted By
Amy
On
3/31/2009 10:54:11 PM
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Women need to stop acting like the man should bend over backwards for them. If his baby's mama wasn't so damn demanding and insecure, then your man might not have to act that way.
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Posted By
Terrance
On
3/31/2009 7:30:43 PM
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I think you're right. There are men who are afraid of whwat their exes might think. I know I'm not too fond of someone other woman around my kids.
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Posted By
Lucretia
On
3/31/2009 11:29:05 AM
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im a dame good mother and i dont interfer with his relationship, he and his women, whom ever he's with wants to play momma. men need to respect their children first
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Posted By
ll
On
3/31/2009 10:29:15 AM
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men need to start acting like men. too many times the baby's mama can be a pain and he don't wanna deal with that.
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Posted By
Shelley
On
3/30/2009 12:23:27 PM
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about damn time that u got a clue!
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Posted By
Keisha
On
3/30/2009 8:21:14 AM
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